We Must Teach The Culture To Trust

Our culture is experiencing a crisis of trust.

Look at how the world behaves. People isolate because they don’t have people in their lives that they can count on. Maybe they’ve been betrayed or traumatized too many times. Every entity is trying to spy on one another: corporations capture and sell every minute bit of information about us; governments capture and collate our activities, and spy on other governments to feel a semblance of control over the chaotic world. We live in a culture in which suspicion, mistrust, and stubborn self-reliance are encouraged, and in which trust and vulnerability are dissuaded. And it’s got us all twisted up.

You’ll hear me say this often. Culture is a system which serves a dual role as teacher and student. We learn to behave and think in the ways the enveloping culture pushes things by virtue of its own momentum. And it learns from our behavior and adapts thereby. At the same time, we serve the same dual role as teacher and student of the culture. For the exact same reasons. 

And so there’s this constant feedback system in place that operates between the individual and the culture. And therefore the way that each of us shows up in the world has a very direct and real impact on the state of the world. So if there’s a dearth of trust in the world, what actions do we need to take to reverse that trend? 

We need to make ourselves trustworthy — that is, worthy of trust. Trust is the foundation of relationships, communities, and society at large. The whole thing falls apart if we can’t trust one another. We see it happening now. 

So how do we become worthy of trust? We hopefully all know what it means to really trust someone. A new dimension opens up in that relationship that enforces a feeling of immense safety and reliability. 

We likely all know a person who lies pathologically. You have to keep them at arm’s length. You can never let them in to the deeper layers. 

Think about it, is that who you want to be? Someone who no one lets in? Someone who no one will come to when you’re in crisis? Of course we don’t want to be that person.

So who do we want to be? We want to be the person who’s speech and actions are in total congruence. When I say I’m going to show up at a certain time, I show up at that time. When I say I’m going to do a task, I complete that task to the best of my ability in a timely manner. When I give my take on the world, I say what is true in my heart and don’t mince words or obfuscate to appease an audience. 

We need to become examples of this because the examples are hardly there in the culture. Nobody trusts politicians, the people we elect to guide the systems to hopefully improve our lives. Nobody trusts them. Nobody trusts the journalists who we rely on to understand the state of affairs in the world. Nobody trusts the businesses that we depend on for the goods, sustenance, and services that we need to be able to move through the modern world.

So we need to step up and become the examples. If we make a product, we make the sturdiest, most reliable, and genuinely useful product one can envision. We don’t fabricate meaningless plastic trinkets just to make a quick buck. If we provide a service, we put our heart and soul into it because we know the health of society depends on us arriving in full integrity in every moment. We don’t half ass our way through life to fill time or our pockets. 

It’s imperative. And it’s on you. You have the opportunity to become a pillar of trustworthiness in your community. That people will learn to depend on because there is no question you’re dependable. That people will turn to when they’re lost because they know you’re congruent all the way through. And in doing so you have the gift of being able to teach the culture a better way. So that our children and theirs can be shown to believe in the world and in the goodness of human beings. 

And it all starts with each of us. We don’t have time to keep futzing around. Look for one second at the state of things. The world needs us to become bulletproof in our integrity. And it can’t wait. So let’s show up and turn this ship around. And let’s keep one another accountable. And let’s pick each other up when we falter and get right back in line. It’s time to become worthy of trust. And it starts with trusting yourself. So become who you know you are in your heart. Let’s get to work.

Keith Gilmore is a professional Life Coach and co-founder of Texture Life Coaching, a life coaching platform serving clients in Portland, OR and throughout the country, and The Integrated Man, a program for reconnecting men with their purpose.